A New Theory - It could change the world

During our epic voyage, Pops recalled a certain previously forgotten major scientifical breakthrough during his young years.
After checking his theory with several reliable sources, Pops has officialy proven the theory of the Rayus Gomeristicus, or as it is unofficialy called, the gomer ray.
Now, as already proven, the einstien ray, similarily to the gamma rays, are invisible. However, these enter the center of the central unit of a living creatures inteligence (the brain), and affects the complexity of it's processes. This undoubedly raises the inteligence of the host creature, granting it the ability to become able to process anything with incredible speed and accuracy.
The founder of this type of radiation, Albert Einstein, was the first, and last, to be placed into an experimental einstein ray aligner/amplifier of his own design, originally designed to accelerate biomass growth.
Einstein rays are uncontrollable, apart from the machine (who's blueprints have been lost), and may affect any person in any number and frequency, as well as varying intensity, at random.
Now, Pops has found the Einstien Ray's polar opposite; which he has nicknamed the Gomer Ray.
As with all polar opposites, this will behave the exact opposite as Einstein Rays, as these are much more common, and are incredibly easy to control, even manipulatible without external processes. You can command these with force of will alone, and are even generated by devices such as the television, wifi modem, and toaster. Gomer rays are attracted to each other, and are located in great frequency in places such as supermarkets frequented by the same people in warm climates, commonly Los Angeles and its vicinity.
Gomer Rays slow brain processing, giving you minimal inteligence, more prone to say vocabulary such as 'duh' and 'dope'.
Gomer Rays have shown a 8X increase since the creation of a certain Homer Simpson, a famous television character.

When Gomer Rays and Einstein Rays converge in one mind, a rare occurence, it creates a strange being with incredible inteligence, but with judgement and wisdom that are minimal. A commonly mentioned victim of this strange relationship is Rodney Dangerfield, one gifted with great wit but minimal inteligence.

To avoid these potentially life-changing forces, or at least the Gomer Rays, the best way to fend them off would be to read a book. Any Gomer Rays that approach a brain reading will be scared off. If they enter a brain doing homework, they will implode and the reaction will create einstein rays, which flock in great numbers to a learning brain.

This is Francis Kohler, Signing off from Pheonix, Arizona.


Xaviertrix


Just goes to show what we can come up with nothing better to do :P